Anyone seen my baby?

Every mum bemoans the fact that kids grow up fast, and pre-motherhood I'd always put such laments up there with the 'haven't you grown' school of yawn.

Now, I'm a baby bore.
'Where's my tiny baby gone?' I cry without warning.

I'm amazed to find myself lamenting the loss of what was 'supposed to be my least favourite stages. I'd assumed I'd be begging for the boy to chat, walk, bring home girls. Yet, whilst I'm excited at how my bonny lad is blossoming into a little boy, hurtling towards toddlerdom with the same speed he now employs to scale our stairs, I'm also on a level I can't quite grasp, mournful.

Every stage is better than the last, yet the passing of the last feels like loss nonetheless. It's gone, never to be recaptured, the first smile, wave, step already clocked up.
Still, motherhood rocks.
We're having tremendous fun with a monkey Renee brought, we call him Sidney in homage to her home. Strangely for a monkey named after Australia's sexiest city, he has a New Yawk accent. Half cab driver, half Dad, who seems to slip into every accent I attempt.

Every time I put Billy down to sleep I start the accent up as I carry him into the nursery. 'Hey kiddo, come get me, whaddya doing leaving me face down in this here cot whilst you and the mama cavort round the house? You forgot me? Well kiddo, you're back now, that's what counts, come in to give your best monkey a cuddle hey?' Billy watches me , I'm sure he knows Sidney can't talk, even though I do my best to make him dance and monkey around in front of my mouth, my ventriloquist skills are obviously pants as I've been rumbled by an 10 and a half month old baby.
Then, suddenly, he'll oblige, watching Sidney try and climb up the cot getting his legs twisted in the bars as he goes, and start yelping, arms outstretched, for his main monkey.
The monkey's been everywhere, New York, London, Crowhurst. A sophisticated soft toy surely? And he's made bedtimes easy, after a few weeks of Billy not wanting to go to bed, the monkey routine started, working magic, I fling him around a bit, make Billy wait for him, watch Billy giggling, then pop Sidney in for a hug as I leave the room. No crying, Job done.

Muscles is at Stone Henge. He's a strange builder, really into hugging stones and getting energy from crystals. He lived up a crystal strewn mountain for 3 years and apparently needs a rock fix, so he's gone to gawp at the big ones before heading to Ayebury where you can actually get your arms round the less famous offerings.

I wanna take the piss and kiss him for this simultaneously. Mostly I just do the former when it comes to the actually reaping of energy, but am curious and egg him on to tell me 'bout his rocks. Yeah yeah, ooer missus.
There's not much more alluring to an Aquarian gypsy than a hippy with a six pack. Jonny maybe in Chocolat, but that's about it.